The Insufferable Modern Bandwagons

  • November 15, 2019
  • Posted in Culture

Remember this chick? Theranos CEO who is under a massive investigation now because her hi-tech blood testing tech claims were all fake and recently her own lawyers wanted to quit because they were not getting paid.

In a 1000 years, she will be studied as we do Genghis Khan, Alexander the Great and the Roman emperors. She will be crowned the queen of bandwagon hopping — and she got on to so many of them, Woman-glass-ceiling-break-empowerment, the steve-jobs-innovation-turtlenecks-and-shoes thing, the breakthrough-game-changing-industry-disrupting-startup.

No one figured out for years what’s she’s been up to because the culture as a whole was so taken by being “supportive” and “non-judgemental” against anyone who stood for a combination of stevejobs-woman-breakthrough-tech. Thankfully, you can’t F** with the US system and get out as you can in third world countries like India. She will definitely go to jail. But the bandwagon phenomenon is not going away.

Someone very close to me is on the organic diet BW right now, paying 4 times more for onions and veggies, because they put her name on the carton and she gets to share it on Instagram to her organic BW tribe. Peer reviewed studies explaining how organic anything is not much different than the normal ones can be ignored, I doubt she ever bothered even checking. Facts shall not come in the way of the sweet emotional payoff one gets from belonging to something greater(another major BW).

Well, there’s a learning curve to getting on the organic-BW, it starts the positive-thinking-BW,  then the-gratitude-BW, then eventually comes the-gratitude-to-the-planet-BW and then to save the said planet you end up with the organic-food-BW. Here’s what the charade looks like:

What I see is an adult arranging life’s trivialities for a pic, that’s the pic I see

Oh, that 5minjournal-BW is sure expensive. That’s $85 for this.

 

Funny: if you just have 3 lines to be grateful for, that’s probably gonna depress the F out of you.

There are cheaper ways and probably better ways to journal, but as with the food, the aim with BW-hopping is seldom the stated purpose, it is often something along the lines of belonging or be in with the tribe.

Then there is the book-reading-BW, I think I have finally figured out how this one works — you start with the audiobook on your phone because that doesn’t get in the way of your texting, Instagramming and web surfing while you are “listening” to the book. Once you have enough buzzwords from the book in your mind, you just go “hmm, I think I got this” and you’re done. For the last step, you just order the book from amazon, visit the beach with it and take a pic making sure you get the sea and sand in the background, or I guess you could just share someone else’s post with your love for the book and the joy of reading. Bonus points for a creative hashtag or #ReadWith<insertyourname> just works fine.

Geez, I want posts on this blog to be shorter but heck we still have the mindfulness-BeInTheMoment-BW, the TRAVEL-BW, the social-media-detox-BW — boy this one is all meta and deep AF, almost like inception, you just keep going deeper. You would expect getting off of social media would be a form of getting off the BWs and into real life but no, it’s just a different bigger BW all the way. Damn, take the whole mindfulness thing, Yuval Harari dedicated a few pages in 21 Lessons for the 21st Century to point out how something simple as “sit, focus on your breath, just observe” became, “hey look at me, I sit, focus on my breath, just observe ..every day..god I’m so cool”, I mean our psychopath prime minister does it, and he came up with some as F***ed-Up as demonetization, so well guess success is around the corner for everyone who’s in on this trick.

 

Mindfulness live on TV shot from every angle — totally normal

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