The Anti Silent Treatment Communication Rule — Part 2
To start with a very critical piece on how the Silent Treatment (ST) is used;
- Women will use it a lot more than men.
- It just the way it is and for good reasons.
- Evolution gave them the upper body strength of a 10-year-old and the testosterone levels of a 150-year-old man, so it’s obvious they have to deploy such mind F***ing tactics in their psychological arsenal.
- It sucks to be in a cultural environment of such disclaimers, but obviously this is NOT for each and every woman, I’ll just add this to the disclaimers section on about me page.
- When you see how the ST is portrayed in media, literature and even humor it’s always something the “wife not talking to you for X days” and of course the famous “let him stew in it” / “give him the silent treatment”. Just reiterating from the last post I know.
- The ST tactic is kinda accepted as the norm when it comes to serious fights/arguments I think with the implication that by just ceasing communication temporarily all parties can “cool off” and come back with a rested mind. While this could be useful I think if this is mostly the norm than the exception then there are serious issues to be fixed.
- The party which is resorting to ST meanwhile ends up thinking they have some sort of upper-hand or are in the right, and overtime can just become a habit.
- The party trying to communicate will just be filled with anger and resentment because he was never even allowed to “present his case”. Overtime this just won’t be healthy.
Terms and Conditions
- This will take time for both parties to completely commit to, and probably some level of reading and intelligence to understand the concept itself.
- There is a reason to call this A RULE – it should be dealt as such, or else the emotions and anger of the moment might just make it too tempting to NOT deploy the ST. Both of you should agree to THE DAMN RULE, this “rule-breaking” can then act as that external threat of nuclear annihilation which keeps the communication active in geopolitics.
- Hence a great idea for you and your partner to both read this article and then discuss it..and subscribe!
- It’s just possible that with all your attempts you just don’t have a partner capable of such emotional control and regulation, in that case, I think professional counseling is the best shot and maybe some practice of mindfulness meditation. Or else you are going to find yourself in the “at least listen to me” situation a lot, and with too many of those you might wanna just break-up and save your sanity.
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